Wise words reminded me to forgive. Of course, forgive. It's so simple, right? Just utter the three words "I forgive you" and we all smile and pretend the pieces are right where they should be.
But for me, hurting, angry, forgiveness doesn't come easy. Shouting the verses at me doesn't make it easier. I know God asks if of me, so I'll say those three words. I'll say them a hundred times and then a hundred times more. But that hurt. Its still there.
How does that really happen? How does God do it for us DAILY? And why can't I seem to? What does it even mean when you say you forgive but the hurt and bitterness sweeps over again every time we meet?
And then, tonight, months later, He shows me.
“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”
Ephesians 4:1-6 NIV
Bearing...in love...keep the unity.
When, where did I get this idea in my head that forgiveness is for me, or the other person? If it's possible, I was trying, unsuccessfully, to forgive for all the wrong reasons. Saying three words, no matter how much you should, won't change your heart.
But I love the Church, the bride of Christ. I would do anything...even...forgive. Because that unity, hear me Church, we will get NOWHERE without it. But if forgiveness really is the key to changing the world, then it MUST start HERE. The world will laugh harder in our faces and hurt will run deeper in our cities until we can get it together.
And when finally, my heart softened and the forgiveness was real, I found myself also forgiving myself.
