Divine intervention

My mind likes to play silly little games with itself, especially when I'm bored. One such game is trying to make words out of license plates when driving down the road. This probably stems with my insistance on figuring out what word/phrase people are trying to convey when they have personalized plates.
Today, I was driving down I-35 on my way to work and I drove up behind this vehicle:

It hit me like a ton of bricks. BSTL. Without a thought, my mind read this as "Be still." One of my favorite bible verses flooded to mind: Psalm 46:10 "Be Still and know that I am God." I've written in previous posts how much I love this verse. I don't tend to think about real life hit you in the face miracles happening in our day and age. I rely heavily on coincidence to explain why things happen, but my heart knew this was no conincidence. This was a message just for me. Be still. It was the reminder that my heart has been waiting for, needing.
Over the last several weeks, my spirit has felt very unsettled. Between all the things already going on, plus the recent illness (and eventual loss) of my grandfather along and our news about the house (more on that to follow in a later post, once I have a better idea of whats going on), to say that I was feeling like I'd hit rock bottom was an understatment. My hope was running on empty and my emotions were ranging from extreme anxiety to total dispair. Tonight, however, I was renewed. I was reawakened to where I've come from and where God has yet to take me.
There truly is a time for everything, and this season will pass before my eyes. In the meantime, I hope to rest in the promise that my soul can just be still and wait, patiently, on the Lord.
"Go on waiting calmly, my brothers, till the coming of the Lord, like the farmer waiting for the good fruit of the earth till the early and late rains have come." James 5:7
I long for the rains of mercy that are sure to come, but I am overwhelmed by the peace that a simple semi truck brought me tonight.

Reflections and ramblings

I've spent a lot of time this week traveling back and forth between the hospital in Hays and my parents house to visit my Grandpa. We've spent lots of hours by his side, trying to spend as much time as we can with him, since these will likely be his last days. When you know someone close to you is nearing the end of his/her life, it really makes you (or at least me) think. 

I've had lots of flashbacks to times with my grandparents: holidays, summer vacations, etc. The more I reflect, the more I wish I could remember. I wish I remembered all the jokes and stories my grandpa would tell. I wish I remembered the taste of the doughnuts we would go get when we went to visit my granddad. I wish I could remember going to the "River-less Festival" with my grandma. I know we did it every year, but I just can't seem to find the pictures in my mind. 

It makes me sad to think about all the wonderful things in my life now, things I swear I'll remember forever. Things that I'm sure to forget in the next 3, 5, or 10 years. And what about Benton? What will he remember? How do I make sure it's the things I want him to remember? Like how he is a beautiful creation, so perfect in God's sight. Like how much he will always be loved, no matter where life takes him. I suppose as parents all we can do is remind our children daily who they are and how much they mean to us.
Ah well, I suppose this is a rambling post headed nowhere, but to remind myself of a lesson learned today, may I not forget it tomorrow.

*Untitled*

Don't tell me bad things happen to good people. I'm tired of hearing it. Another lame attempt at empathy from someone who doesn't know what else to say.

Don't tell me everything happens for a reason. Unless you can tell me the reason, this logic is of no use to me.

Don't tell me it's all going to be okay. You don't know that. You don't have a crystal ball.

Don't tell me you understand. You don't. You couldn't possibly. I don't pretend to know what it's like to walk in your shoes, so don't pretend you can walk in mine.

Unless you can tell me WHY, until you can tell me WHEN, if you can't tell me HOW, then just don't TELL me.