Well, believe it or not, it's September. That means it's been 9 months since Chris and I started "trying" for baby number two. Still no luck. With our first pregnancy, we weren't even trying. In fact, I was on birth control when I found out we were pregnant. (For those of you that don't know, we ended up having a miscarrage at right around 11 weeks with that baby). Our second pregnancy happened within three months of losing the first. I never thought we would face this problem. But here we are. Waiting. Hoping. Feeling disappointed month after month.
Some of my friends who know about my desire to have another baby don't understand. Benton is still so young, why the rush? And before I had Benton, I probably would have thought the same thing. Now that I have him now, though, I have found a whole new capacity within myself to love, in a deeper and stronger way than I ever knew was possible. Everyday I see him grow and learn, which is the greatest reward in the world. I can't imagine life without Benton. He brings so much joy to my life, I can't help but want more kids to love.
I'm not sure why we haven't had any answers to our prayers yet. I don't know wether God is saying "No" or just "Not yet." But I'm hitting a point where waiting on his timing is getting harder and harder.
So, here's my request to all of you out there reading this: say a prayer for us. I'm calling all my prayer warriors out there to keep us in mind throughout these next few months as we continue to try to seek His ways and trust His plans. Hopefully a new baby will soon be a part of those plans, but if not, pray for us as we try to discover the paths He would have us take.
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