My kid is becoming THAT kid. You know what kid I mean. The one that all the parents dread being at story time at the library. The kid that you don't dare not put in the nursery during the church service. The kid that throws things at other kids. Yeah, THAT kid.
Chris and I promised each other from the get go that we would never let Benton be that kid. He would be raised to have good manners and show respect to others. So where did I go wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I love my little boy, and for the most part he really is a good kiddo. However, about a month ago he picked up a "funny" (to him) new habit of throwing toys (sometimes at people). We've been making efforts to correct this behavior with firm "No's" and time outs, and I do think we are winning the battle, but suddenly our efforts must be refocused on a new front in this "Toddler Discipline" war. When I asked Heather (Benton's daycare teacher) if he had been throwing toys, she said hes done it a few times, but more than that she's noticed him taking toys from other kids recently (GASP!) This is when it really hit me that we might have a problem. You see, he doesn't do this at home, there are no other kids for him to take toys from. As a result, I can't correct the action when I see it because I simply don't see it. (Yet another reason to have another kid, IMHO). So now what? If I discipline it hours later when I pick him up, he's not going to understand why. Heather said she does tell him "No" but I'm still concerned that I've got a big trouble maker on my hands!
So, now I begin the arduous journey to re-training my toddler the skills to being a fun playmate to his friends. This could be interesting. Feel free to leave me your tips!
Hey there lady. So while I do not have any kids, I did work at a day are for 4 years and have been coaching gymnastics for 10 yrs. He's barely 2. This is a stage es going to go through. The concept of sharing is a new one, his brain is not 100% capable of thinking about others or how their actions affect others. So, when this kind of thing happened we corrected it by 1) always having 2 of every smaller toy. When Benton takes the toy, the teacher needs to take it away, say firmly, "that's ashley's toy" give it back to the other child and provide Benton w/ another toy. As far as throwing toys at home or any other problems, I would encourage you to work on a different word than "no". They need to be given an actual description of what was wrong. So instead you would firmly say "Benton, we do not throw toys" and then put the toy up. The word no is one he will turn around and use on you. "Benton, give me the potato head" "NO!". When kids hear the word no often they quickly start using it to defy you. But Andrea, he is barely 18 mos old if that. Keep that in mind. His little brain is a very selfish brain because it isn't quite developed like a 4 yr olds is :). The behavior you are explaining is super normal! Just wait till he starts biting!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad, and don't worry too much. Darrin and I have been through this with Kristopher. Being an only child creates an interesting twist on the whole area of teaching to share and play nice. Just be consistant, firm when need be, and loving. You guys are doing a great job with Benton. This is just a phase that kids go through. It's just hard on the parents.
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