Our big fat move

So, I'd pretty much decided to give up blogging. I just don't have enough to say that someone else out there isn't already saying. However, recent big changes have led me to change my mind. Namely, moving 4 hours away, changing jobs, and growing tired of everyone asking why we would possibly want to live in the small town in the middle of nowhere. So here it is, I'm finally ready to open up, and fess up, to what's going on with the Jeska fam.
Last fall, we came home to Great Bend, a small town in Central Kansas where my parents and sister and brother in law live, for a quick weekend visit. Every visit with my family is too short, but this one was especially hard, my heart truly felt pulled. I felt like God was telling me this we where we were supposed to be, supposed to raise our boys. I cried most of the way back to Kansas City after that trip.  I cried because I was tired of feeling like I was always saying goodbye to family, because I felt like my boys would grow up without knowing what it meant to have big family dinners on a regular basis, because my mom has always been my best friend and I was tired of being without her. Mostly I cried because I felt stuck. Chris and I talked a lot about it during that drive. We promised to spend time in prayer, seeking guidance and open doors. For a while nothing changed, good jobs can be hard to find in a small town, but our patience did finally pay off. I interviewed for a job at HaysMed and was offered a position in mid March. At this point we still weren't sure what Chris would do, but through family connections we were sure he could find decent employment here. Once again, God answered prayer. After discussion with his managers and his boss, he found out he will be able to stay on with his current company and work from home in Great Bend! God is so good!
I also have always wanted to raise my boys in a small town. I truly was terrified of having kids with a bad case of what I like to call "Johnson County Syndrome." I hope here in Great Bend, we can find a slower pace with more time to just. Be. Family.
Now for what tends to become the elephant in the room; "you're living with your parents?!?"
Chris and I both went to private college, it's where we met and fell in love. I wouldn't trade that for any amount of money in the world. However, in the process, we also acrued a significant amount of student loan debt. In Kansas City, we were able to get by, but I'd be lying if I told you we weren't living paycheck to paycheck most of the time to keep up. We got tired of spinning our wheels and feeling like we were getting nowhere, like we'd be paying on these loans for 30 years and stuck in a vicious cycle until we were over 50. We both wanted more than that. We want to enjoy life,
We don't want to just get by. We want family vacations, we want a nice home, we want private school for our boys, we wanted things we just couldn't afford if we wanted to pay off all this debt. We read the Dave Ramsey book a few times. I don't agree with a lot of what he says, but we did see clearly that something had to change, and if we stayed in KC, or even came here and got a place of
our own, it wouldn't. On top of wanting to get all those loans paid off, Chris is planning on going back to school in the fall, and this time we wanted to be able to afford to pay tuition out of pocket, no more student loans for us!. To say living with my parents is a sacrifice would be a stretch to say the least. My mom and dad are so incredibly supportive, they have made the whole transition better than I could have imagined. We have a whole floor with 3 bedrooms all to ourselves, in ways I feel like we have more space than we did in our home in Gardner. The neighborhood is one Ive always dreamed of raising my boys in. Benton has already had hours of fun playing with two neighbor boys his age. But its been hard being away from Chris while he finishes things up in KC. It's also been very humbling, some days I wake up and feel like a huge failure for having to move back home. Satan reminds me that I'm not good enough, because while everyone else is moving forward, we had to take some giant leaps back.  I try to remind myself that we are doing the right thing, and I really do believe we are.
I'm excited to post pictures of our new bedrooms and bathroom once they are all remodeled, and I'll keep you posted on my new job and some exciting things coming up for Benton. In the meantime, will you please pray for my heart in this time of adjustment. Pray that we quickly find Christian friends our age to do life with, and that we find our niche in the new small town.