Sunday, August 28, 2011

Lost in translation

**YAWN** Okay, I guess I'll come out of blogger hibernation for a new post on a subject that I've been thinking of writing for a week or two now.

I'm assuming most of you reading this are close enough to Chris and I (or at least you read my blog enough to know) that we have been trying for another baby for quite some time now (over a year an a half, to be more exact). You also may know that I am the Google queen. That is to say, when something piques my interest, in two shakes of a lambs tail you can often find me jumping to my laptop, the nearest computer, or my smart phone to "google" the subject.
What movie did that actor get his big break in? Google it.
What's the Ohio state bird? Google it.
How many people have truly died of water challenges? Google it.

You get the idea. Well, it should then come as no surprise to you that, within a few months of Chris and I unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, I began to SCOUR the Internet for tips, tricks, and all things related to infertility. It didn't take me long to realize that if I was going to keep up with the message boards, blogs, and various websites, I needed to learn a whole new computer lingo, and yet I  had the hardest time finding one place that broke down all the various acronyms. So here it is, your first lesson in "Infertility Computer Linguistics". I doubt many of you will ever have a use for this, but who knows. At the very least, you might get a chuckle out of a few of them like I do. (Disclaimer: this list is not all inclusive, there are many more acronyms out there but, to be honest, I feel weird writing about some of those things in such a public manner)

First, here is a sample paragraph I made up similar to one you might find on a message board. If you can read this with perfect understanding then, congrats, you are finished with the lesson and may go back to real, important things.

"My DH and I have been TTC for a while now. We BD often and Ive use OPKs for a few months. I chart my BBT from the time AF arrives. I keep ending up with a BFN on my HPTs. Now I'm 8 DPO which came CD15 and tired of the 2WW. If I use my FMU can I POAS now? I just hope I get that BFP! Babydust to you all"

So did you catch all that?

Let me break all those down for ya. As previously stated, there are WAY more out there, but these are the most commonly used.

DH: Dear/darling husband

TTC: Trying to concieve (trying to get pregnant...duh)

BD: Baby dance, aka sex
"OK, it only saves us one letter to use this acronym"

OPK: Ovulation predictor kits (they help couples know the best times to do that baby dance)

BBT: Basal body temperature (Some very devoted ladies take their temp, ahem, down south, and chart it daily. It provides basically the same info as the OPKs, but is free, lest the cost of an additional thermometer. At least I hope you aren't using the same one you stick in your sick babys mouth. Ugh, Andrea, stay on track)

AF: Aunt Flo (Now I must admit, I thought EVERYONE knew who "Aunt Flo" was, but after talking about it with a coworker last night, I learned that this isn't, in fact, common knowledge. So, just to really break it down, Aunt Flo is your period, women.)
"aka your nemesis"

BFN: Big Fat Negative (This means you are NOT pregnant, at least according to the pregnancy test)

HPT: Home pregnancy tests (the pee sticks that you can buy for about $10 at WalMart)
"Everyone's favorite kind of peestick."

DPO: Days past ovulation (When trying to concieve, it helps to know that AF arrives 14 DPO *almost*always, so HPTs are often not accurate until then)

CD (insert any number here): Cycle day. (Day one is when AF arrives)
"When TTC, your mood and what you are doing with
your free time is often dependent upon your CD"


2WW: the 14 days between ovulation and the first day you can expect an accurate pregnancy test reading

FMU: first morning urine (it is recommended that you take a HPT when you first wake up in the morning. This becomes less important if you are a few days farther into your pregnancy than 2 weeks)
"Liquid gold for peestickaholics"

POAS: Pee on a stick (take a HPT)
"Peestickaholics consider peeing onto anything
other than a stick to be a waste of perfectly good urine."
BFP: the one thing every blogger on the boards (including me!) hopes for someday...a BIG
FAT POSITIVE (on that HPT)
"Baby jackpot!"
Babydust: Evidently, if you sprinkle enough of this virtual love, the baby gods will bless you (or the people reading your post?) soon(er?).
 Well, there you have it folks. Hope you now feel a litte more educated on a topic you likely wanted to know nothing about. If you read this entire post, you get an A+ :)

**Quotes from http://www.peestickparadise.com/ttc_acronyms**

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