Book Report

A few weeks ago, I started reading the "Mark of the Lion" series by Francine Rivers. I've read several of her books before. "Redeeming Love" was my favorite prior to starting this series, the rest of her books all seemed to run together. Same story, different characters is the path I feel like most of her novels follow. However, these books take her writing to a whole new level. Since starting the books, my faith has really been challenged. I've been looking in a mirror and not always satisfied with what I see.
The first book, Voice in the Wind, begins the story of Hadassah, a young Jewish Christian girl whose family is (somewhat brutally) killed in the fall of Jerusalem. She is taken to Rome to become a slave for a rich, prestigious family, and she clings to her faith and promise to serve God as if it's the only thing she has left.
Now, I don't want to give away too much of the story, becuase these are some books you really need to read for yourself. But, what has captured me most about the books are two resounding themes.
 1. The constant reminders that God is here. He's never letting go. He's holding on. Today, my struggles, the things that scare me or tempt me or bring me joy, are all interwoven into his plan to draw me closer into His arms. I am such a thick headed creature to think that I should be so privy to knowing and understanding all the details that are part of this story he has placed me in. God doesn't promise to make things go our way, but He promises that His way serves a purpose much higher than I could ever hope to accomplish on my own. AND, His way is the ONLY way to feel fulfilled in this life.
2. God is sending us chances on a daily and even hourly basis to show love. And I'm not talking about the easy love, to our famililies or friends that make us feel good. I'm talking about that hard love, to those people who have acted rude, or careless or just flat out annoy me. And not only are we called to love, but called to ACT on that love. Wow, that's the hard part for me. Serving. Acting with grace when an insult is thrown my way. Treating EVERY SINGLE PERSON around me like their needs are above my own. Yikes. I have been failing miserably.
So, I'm going to try to re-dedicate myself to servanthood. To be a friend even to those who claim they don't need one. I am no judge. Who am I to say who is and isn't deserving of my heart? Pray for me as I start what I consider a new chapter in my life.
And read the books. You will NOT be wasting your time!

Happy Half Birthday Benton!!!!

Wow! Has it really been 18 months since I held this tiny baby in my hands, with tears in my eyes, realized my life had just been changed forever? It has! And what an 18 months it's been.

Let's see, I've probably changed somewhere in the neighborhood of 2370  diapers, washed around 1642 bottles/sippy cups, said 547 bedtime prayers, and given countless kisses and cuddles.

And what do I have to show for it all? The most amazing little boy I could ever wish for!

So, here's a little bit about what my 1 1/2 year old has been up to lately:
Benton is just a little (23 lbs, is that really little??) guy, measuring in at just under 10 percentile for his age in both height and weight. But what he lacks in size he makes up for in personality. I have a little jokester on my hands, who LOVES to make people laugh. His most recent method: tickling. He even says "tickle, tickle, tickle" when he does it! So cute! He is also quite the little music man. He LOVES to dance anytime he hears music in any form come on. Just this week, daddy and Benton made up a new "dance" while I was at work, it is so cute to watch them do it together!

Benton is a very good eater: his favorite foods are chicken (of any kind), green beans, and french fries. And before meals, Benton always folds his hands to pray, usually before we even remind him. He also really enjoys his bathtime. So much, in fact, that he gets really mad when anyone, including the dogs, is getting a bath or shower, and he's not! His favorite toys lately have been his fire truck, which he is finally big enough to ride around on his own, and his jack-in-the-box. But more than any of his toys, Benton loves his books. He is constantly bringing me books and climbing up into my lap for me to read them to him. Those are my favorite moments.

Benton has a big heart. He loves to give kisses, and has his own little way of saying "I love you" in sign language.

There is so much that I love about my little man, every month brings new things to cherish. I'm not ready for him to be a "big boy" but I am loving watching him grow up.

Benton William Jeska, I LOVE YOU! :)

3 years, still going strong!

Wow! 3 years! Okay, I won't use the cliche that it feels like just yesterday that I was walking down the aisle, that would be a huge exagerration. A lot has happened in 3 years, we have been trough a ton. We have cried, A LOT. But we have also had some amazing experiences I wouldn't trade for the world. Being married isn't exactly like I'd always imagined, but it's still great. Chris and I were talking about what our favorite parts of being married were so far. The list was topped off with, of course, our amazing son who we are head over heels in love with, the laughs that we have, and the fact that we never have to feel alone, even when the other isn't around, becuase we know that being apart will be short lived. No matter how hard things get, we are going through it together. I guess when it comes down to it, that's what marriage is all about, having someone to go through life with. And I love it.

SO, we decided we needed a chance to celebrate. Last year we didn't do much, since we had a 6 month old, and I could count the number of dates we have been on since Benton was born on one hand. We decided to make up for lost time and have a little "stay-cation" just the two of us. Benton has been with my parents since this last Friday (we had fall retreat all weekend so it worked better for him to be there anyway).

Here's the "G rated" recap :)

Wednesday Chris came home from work with a beautiful boquet of roses (pink of course), and since we were already all packed up, we loaded up the car and headed over to the Leawood Town Center/Park Place area where we had reservations for a couple nights at the Aloft hotel. Okay, so let me just say right now, this is my new favorite hotel. It's not super fancy, but it is fun and young and trendy and I LOVE it! In fact, I fell in love with that whole area this week. Our room was super cute (maybe a little small, but not bad).

Once we were all checked in we walked over to the Hereford House for dinner. Now I have heard from a few people that the Hereford House has the BEST steaks, and I have to say, our food was pretty good. So, next time you are looking for a yummy place to dine, I recommend it. I can say from personal experience now that the calamari is to die for, and the steak is also one of the best I've ever had.

We were stuffed before we even fnished our main course, so we took our white chocolate and caramel bread pudding back to the hotel for later. Then we headed back and exchanged gifts. I got Chris a new watch and he got me this adorable picture (below) for the house (I still have to decide where to put it...any ideas?) Since I promised to keep it g-rated, I'm going to leave out the details of the rest of the night ;)

Thursday we slept in until 9:30, yes, 9:30, it was heavenly. Truly. when we get to heaven, I think God is going to let us sleep in until 9:30 every day. Ahhh. Then we got up and ran around a little, had some lunch, and walked around town center for a few hours. (Hey coworkers, I got some new shoes so now you can't make fun of my old ones anymore :) )

Well, I had a co-worker tell me about

this little shop called "Cupcakes A La Mode" so we decided to try it out. Ummm, there are no words. I ordered the "Love Doctor" which is a chocolate cupcake with a strawberry buttercream frosting that has chocolate chunks and then it's topped with a chocolate covered strawberry. Chris had one iced with a mocha-y (I know, not a real word) frosting and topped with a chocolate covered espresso bean. Yum-o! Then we went and saw "Easy A." I won't lie, I had my doubts about this movie. Nothing else was really showing that interested us, though. And we figured since we were the only people in the theatre, if it sucked we could just make out the whole time. Just kidding. Kinda. Anywho, I was wrong. The movie was actua

lly really good! And Emma Stone was great. She is my new favorite celebrity. If I were a guy, she would be my celebrity crush. In fact, I think she's my new celebrity crush anyway. Yes, she was that good. After the movie, some dinner at CPK and back to the hotel we headed...

Unfortunatly all good things must come to an end and today we checked out and are now (very anxiously) headed to my parent's for the weekend to pick up our little man. I cannot wait to see him!

So there's your recap. Sorry for the play by play, I normally try not to put up posts like this but I had a few people ask about the trip so I figured this was the easiest way to share.

life without my little one

Thursday night I drove to Wichita to meet up with my parents so that we could celebrate my birthday, and also drop off Benton. They are watching him for us since we had fall retreat with the teens this last weekend and a little vaction planned this week for our anniversary. Every time we take him to stay with either set of grandparents, I seem to be a huge ball of emotions. First and foremost, obviously, I'm sad and I cry. And cry. And cry. I think its mostly becuase I get afraid that he's so young he will forget about us during the week. And I just miss his smile, and his little laugh, and the way he holds my hand when we go for walks. And I miss waking up to him talking over the monitor. And I miss reading a story, saying bedtime prayers, and giving goodnight kisses. Okay, so I guess I just miss him a lot in general.
But when I can get past all that, I also feel a little sigh of relief. Don't get me wrong, I 100% LOVE being a mom to such an amazing little boy. But as the time to pack for Wichita approached, I thought about how, for a whole week, I can wake up at whatever time I want in the morning, nap as long as I need to before work on Monday, and if all I want to put the effort into fixing for lunch each day is a bowl of cereal, no one is going to care! When I clean the house, it might actually stay that way for more than an hour this week! And no dirty diapers to change!
Later this week Chris and I are looking forward to celebrating our 3rd anniversary and spending a few days away from all our usual day to day worries and reconnecting with each other. I am SO excited! And after that, home we head to pick up our bundle of energy. I am already giddy about scooping him up and smoothering him with kisses. Until then, I'm sure I'll cry a few more times when I call Benton to say goodnight or go in his room to put clean clothes away, but for the most part I'm just going to try to sit back, kick my feet up, and enjoy a much needed chance to change my title back from "mommy" to just "me" for a couple days.