Thursday night I drove to Wichita to meet up with my parents so that we could celebrate my birthday, and also drop off Benton. They are watching him for us since we had fall retreat with the teens this last weekend and a little vaction planned this week for our anniversary. Every time we take him to stay with either set of grandparents, I seem to be a huge ball of emotions. First and foremost, obviously, I'm sad and I cry. And cry. And cry. I think its mostly becuase I get afraid that he's so young he will forget about us during the week. And I just miss his smile, and his little laugh, and the way he holds my hand when we go for walks. And I miss waking up to him talking over the monitor. And I miss reading a story, saying bedtime prayers, and giving goodnight kisses. Okay, so I guess I just miss him a lot in general.
But when I can get past all that, I also feel a little sigh of relief. Don't get me wrong, I 100% LOVE being a mom to such an amazing little boy. But as the time to pack for Wichita approached, I thought about how, for a whole week, I can wake up at whatever time I want in the morning, nap as long as I need to before work on Monday, and if all I want to put the effort into fixing for lunch each day is a bowl of cereal, no one is going to care! When I clean the house, it might actually stay that way for more than an hour this week! And no dirty diapers to change!
Later this week Chris and I are looking forward to celebrating our 3rd anniversary and spending a few days away from all our usual day to day worries and reconnecting with each other. I am SO excited! And after that, home we head to pick up our bundle of energy. I am already giddy about scooping him up and smoothering him with kisses. Until then, I'm sure I'll cry a few more times when I call Benton to say goodnight or go in his room to put clean clothes away, but for the most part I'm just going to try to sit back, kick my feet up, and enjoy a much needed chance to change my title back from "mommy" to just "me" for a couple days.
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