Well, my last post of 2010. The end of the year. Bittersweet, isn't it? Or is it just me.
New years eve reminds me that I'm getting older. That all those moments from 2010 are over. That the world is continuing to move forward even when I don't feel ready. Another year with Benton has come and gone, he's getting older and his baby years are slipping away.
But a new year, a fresh start with endless possibilities, brings hope. And I am so excited about what it has to offer. Chris (hopefully starting) his new job. An upcoming visit to our family and friends in MN. I still have hope that our family will reach four by the time 2011 comes to a close. There is a lot to be hopeful for, excited for.
Give a toast tonight and kiss someone you love, and remember all the things you have to be thankful for, for "auld lang syne" (old time's sake, in case you weren't sure what that meant, like me until I researched it)
"And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right goodwill draught,
for auld lang syne!"
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Goodbye palm trees, hello...palm trees???
Well, I finally finished the bathroom makeover. I can't really call it a remodel becuase we didn't change out any fixtures (although I would have liked to). But, I'm still VERY pleased with how it turned out. Later in the new year I may go ahead and put in a new faucet, towel rack, etc but for now, this is much more suited to Benton's 1 1/2 (or closer to 2? Yikes!) year old tastes.
First, let me remind you how hideous it was before:
Please take note of the awful palm tree border, marks on the white walls, and chipping stain on the cabinets. And now, for the after:
We went with a soft green for the walls, painted the cabient white, and finally bought the curtain and rug I have been eye-ing at Pottery Barn Kids for, literally, months. Now, all I have left to do is buy some new towels and we will be all set. The irony of it all? After loathing and making fun of the palm trees in this bathroom for over a year I finally get rid of them and pick out a new shower curtain with....palm trees. LOL!
First, let me remind you how hideous it was before:
Monday, December 27, 2010
On the 3rd day of Christmas...
Well it came, and it went.
No matter how much I didn't feel like I was ready, wasn't in the Christmas spirit, wanted to change last week, Christmas came the same time it does every year, and passed just as quickly. And to be honest, it acutally was still pretty good. I had my moments where I felt down, but most of the day I just felt loved and blessed to have such a wonderful family.
I think the real bummer for me was that for the whole week leading up to my favorite time of year, when I'm normally filled with anticipation and excitment for all the family and food and special moments I was going through so much. As a result, even though I enjoyed Christmas day, I felt like I missed the majority of Christmas. Therefore, Chris and I have decided that in the Jeska household, the next two weeks, until we head up to Minnesota for Christmas with his family, we will be pretending like Christmas is not yet over. Yep, you read that right: the tree is staying up until the middle of January, as are the Chrismas lights. We may have to borrow a few Christmas movies from someone becuase I'm pretty sure the TV stations are done playing them, and I'm going to really have to dig to find my favorite Christmas CD's. But while most people are making comments about how bummed they are that Christmas is over, it is still in full swing here. Besides, Christmas is 12 days anyway, but most people only celebrate the 1st day, we are going to celebrate all of them!
My family has already gone home, which is the only thing that keeps it from totally continuing to feel like Christmas right now. It was so good to have them here, it's amazing how life just seems less complicated when your parents are around. And this year, they really left their mark, primarily with this little bundle of fun for Benton:
As you can see, we are still having issues with steering, good thing they bought him a helmet to go with it. I got lots of wonderful things as well, but my FAVORITE gift award this year goes to....
drumroll please....
MY HUSBAND, who gave me this:
No matter how much I didn't feel like I was ready, wasn't in the Christmas spirit, wanted to change last week, Christmas came the same time it does every year, and passed just as quickly. And to be honest, it acutally was still pretty good. I had my moments where I felt down, but most of the day I just felt loved and blessed to have such a wonderful family.
I think the real bummer for me was that for the whole week leading up to my favorite time of year, when I'm normally filled with anticipation and excitment for all the family and food and special moments I was going through so much. As a result, even though I enjoyed Christmas day, I felt like I missed the majority of Christmas. Therefore, Chris and I have decided that in the Jeska household, the next two weeks, until we head up to Minnesota for Christmas with his family, we will be pretending like Christmas is not yet over. Yep, you read that right: the tree is staying up until the middle of January, as are the Chrismas lights. We may have to borrow a few Christmas movies from someone becuase I'm pretty sure the TV stations are done playing them, and I'm going to really have to dig to find my favorite Christmas CD's. But while most people are making comments about how bummed they are that Christmas is over, it is still in full swing here. Besides, Christmas is 12 days anyway, but most people only celebrate the 1st day, we are going to celebrate all of them!
My family has already gone home, which is the only thing that keeps it from totally continuing to feel like Christmas right now. It was so good to have them here, it's amazing how life just seems less complicated when your parents are around. And this year, they really left their mark, primarily with this little bundle of fun for Benton:
drumroll please....
MY HUSBAND, who gave me this:
I took a picture of it but couldn't get it to load for some weird reason, so I had to load one from the web, but this is the same color, etc as the one I got and I LOVE IT. Can't wait to start baking!
And I've got 11 more days of Christmas left to do it!
What was your favorite gift this year? What are you doing to stay in the holiday spirit?
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
As most of you probably know by now, the doctor called today and the news was not good. My "pregnancy levels" were high which means that we should have been able to see a heartbeat at this point on the ultrasound. We had a couple options as to which step to take next, but we've decided at this point to wait it out let nature run its course. We will check back in week and if I haven't gone into "labor" by then we will start considering more agressive procedures.
I think now the hardest part will be waiting for it to happen, not knowing how I will handle it when it does. Even though we went through this before, it all feels new and just as hard, if not harder. It probably seems crazy to be blogging about it all ready, but there are so many emotions running through me right now, and most of them I can't say without breaking down into sobs. So instead, I'll type them.
Christmas is just 3 days away and I can't stand it right now. I am trying SO hard to get excited about it again. My favorite time of year, and I just want it to go away. Today I did more Christmas shopping thinking that it might get me back in the holiday spirit and get my mind off things, but instead I came home feeling exhausted. I bought everything I need to make my Christmas cookies and fudge tomorrow, I guess we'll see how that goes (if it even happens). It's all still in the car right now, I didn't even have the energy to carry all my groceries inside.
When I was out shopping, all the Christmas decorations had such optimistic words like "Joy" and "Love" and "Peace." I want those feelings back. Its hard to think that just 4 days ago, I was telling everyone else to get excited, that this is the best time of year. I guess most of all, I don't understand how God expects me to celebrate the birth of a baby when all I can think about is the loss of my own. It's like a cruel, ironic joke to me.
If you are still reading, I'm amazed you've put up with my pity party for myself for this long. I wish I could say this will be the last one, but I can't make any promises. While you are praying for peace on earth and godwill to men, please keep our famiy in your prayers over the next couple days. Most of all, pray for peace for Chris and I, and that we still find joy in the final days of the Christmas season. Pray for me that my faith doesn't falter despite my diasppointment with God.
I think now the hardest part will be waiting for it to happen, not knowing how I will handle it when it does. Even though we went through this before, it all feels new and just as hard, if not harder. It probably seems crazy to be blogging about it all ready, but there are so many emotions running through me right now, and most of them I can't say without breaking down into sobs. So instead, I'll type them.
Christmas is just 3 days away and I can't stand it right now. I am trying SO hard to get excited about it again. My favorite time of year, and I just want it to go away. Today I did more Christmas shopping thinking that it might get me back in the holiday spirit and get my mind off things, but instead I came home feeling exhausted. I bought everything I need to make my Christmas cookies and fudge tomorrow, I guess we'll see how that goes (if it even happens). It's all still in the car right now, I didn't even have the energy to carry all my groceries inside.
When I was out shopping, all the Christmas decorations had such optimistic words like "Joy" and "Love" and "Peace." I want those feelings back. Its hard to think that just 4 days ago, I was telling everyone else to get excited, that this is the best time of year. I guess most of all, I don't understand how God expects me to celebrate the birth of a baby when all I can think about is the loss of my own. It's like a cruel, ironic joke to me.
If you are still reading, I'm amazed you've put up with my pity party for myself for this long. I wish I could say this will be the last one, but I can't make any promises. While you are praying for peace on earth and godwill to men, please keep our famiy in your prayers over the next couple days. Most of all, pray for peace for Chris and I, and that we still find joy in the final days of the Christmas season. Pray for me that my faith doesn't falter despite my diasppointment with God.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Hanging on a tiny thread of hope...
For the last 24+ hours I've been making vague facebook statuses, pleading for prayer, and trying to keep my head above the rising water of sinking faith. I promised and update for all you out there praying for us, an answer as to why you are praying, so here it is:
December 3, 2010: Positive pregnancy test, finally! Just shy of a year of trying to get pregnant and suddenly when we were almost ready to give up, God blessed our efforts with a teeny tiny baby growing inside me. No symptoms yet, except the fact that Mother Nature never sent her monthly gift. I couldn't be more excited or thankful. But, we are going to wait until Christmas to tell our families, and we'll tell everyone else after that...if we can stand to wait that long!
December 18, 2010: That's odd, still no symptoms, except a teeny tiny bit of bleeding. They say that's normal early on, I'll double check with some of the nurses at work tomorrow.
December 19, 2010: Bleeding is still light, and every website I read says its normal, but I'm starting to get nervous. I asked the nurses in the labor and delivery unit about it and they said to stop worrying. Completely normal. Chill out, drink some water, and look forward to being a mommy.
December 20, 2010: Something is NOT right. My gut tells me that despite what the nurses told me, something is very wrong. I called my OB and talked to the nurse, she said not to worry, my symptoms are not concerning at all and call if anything changes. Then the bleeding gets a lot heavier and I KNOW that my gut was right. I call my OB back and the tell me they will get me in tomorrow morning. I already know how this is going to go though. And the waterworks begin. I called my mom and she promised to head up to KC as soon as she got off work. Chris left work early and came home to be with me too. At least I don't have to go through this heartbreak alone.
December 21, 2010: My doctor examined me and said that her findings were inconclusive. They need to draw blood work and do an ultrasound before that can give me a final answer as to whether or not we have lost the baby. A few hours later, we see on the ultrasound that the baby is still there, but there is no heartbeat or blood flow. The ultrasound tech is also concerned that the sac around the baby is measuring small and the shape isn't quite right.
This afternoon my doctor called me after looking over my ultrasound. If my numbers in the blood work come back high, we will know for sure that the baby has already passed away. If the numbers in my blood work come back low, it could mean that the baby has already passed away OR that I am not as far along as we calculated. In that case, we will have more blood work drawn in two days to see if the numbers come back higher (the baby is still growing) or lower (the baby is not growing anymore). However, she stated that at this point, based on the size, the amount of bleeding, and the mis-shapen sac a miscarriage is 90 to 95 percent likely. And it isn't necessarily happening now, it could take several weeks before it actually happens.
So we begin the waiting game, the praying game. Most of me has given up hope, but there is this little bitty ray of light that says, hey, I still have a 5 to 10 percent chance of getting to hold this baby someday. To kiss its toes and squeeze it close to me. 5 to 10 percent. When the weather man says there's a 5 to 10 percent chance of rain, I leave my windows down. When a store sends me a 10% off coupon I throw it away because "That's nothing." But now, 10 percent is everything. It's my last hope.
There's a section in the Bible in Jesus is telling his followers (in the paraphrased Andrea International Version) "if you have the tiniest speck of faith, you can tell a giant mountain to move and it will! Because God CAN DO ANYTHING" I am tell this mountain to move, I am telling this baby to live and grow. I am telling God to give me a miracle. I have a tiny speck of faith. I just hope God holds out on His end of the bargain.
Please pray for us tonight, and tomorrow. If we get bad results, we will be making decisions in the following days about what route to take for the physical healing process to begin. If we get neutral results we will still be waiting over the holiday for any news. At this point, any good results will not come for weeks. But they still have a 5 to 10 percent chance of coming. God performed a miracle at Christmas over 2000 years ago, maybe he will perform another this year. My tiny speck of faith tells me He can. My tiny speck of faith tells me He will. It's the rest of my body, the skeptical, practical, logical portion which normally controls my thinking and actions that tells me to give up hope, to begin moving on now so that by Christmas I have some control of my emotions back. I guess we will see which one was right soon.
December 3, 2010: Positive pregnancy test, finally! Just shy of a year of trying to get pregnant and suddenly when we were almost ready to give up, God blessed our efforts with a teeny tiny baby growing inside me. No symptoms yet, except the fact that Mother Nature never sent her monthly gift. I couldn't be more excited or thankful. But, we are going to wait until Christmas to tell our families, and we'll tell everyone else after that...if we can stand to wait that long!
December 18, 2010: That's odd, still no symptoms, except a teeny tiny bit of bleeding. They say that's normal early on, I'll double check with some of the nurses at work tomorrow.
December 19, 2010: Bleeding is still light, and every website I read says its normal, but I'm starting to get nervous. I asked the nurses in the labor and delivery unit about it and they said to stop worrying. Completely normal. Chill out, drink some water, and look forward to being a mommy.
December 20, 2010: Something is NOT right. My gut tells me that despite what the nurses told me, something is very wrong. I called my OB and talked to the nurse, she said not to worry, my symptoms are not concerning at all and call if anything changes. Then the bleeding gets a lot heavier and I KNOW that my gut was right. I call my OB back and the tell me they will get me in tomorrow morning. I already know how this is going to go though. And the waterworks begin. I called my mom and she promised to head up to KC as soon as she got off work. Chris left work early and came home to be with me too. At least I don't have to go through this heartbreak alone.
December 21, 2010: My doctor examined me and said that her findings were inconclusive. They need to draw blood work and do an ultrasound before that can give me a final answer as to whether or not we have lost the baby. A few hours later, we see on the ultrasound that the baby is still there, but there is no heartbeat or blood flow. The ultrasound tech is also concerned that the sac around the baby is measuring small and the shape isn't quite right.
This afternoon my doctor called me after looking over my ultrasound. If my numbers in the blood work come back high, we will know for sure that the baby has already passed away. If the numbers in my blood work come back low, it could mean that the baby has already passed away OR that I am not as far along as we calculated. In that case, we will have more blood work drawn in two days to see if the numbers come back higher (the baby is still growing) or lower (the baby is not growing anymore). However, she stated that at this point, based on the size, the amount of bleeding, and the mis-shapen sac a miscarriage is 90 to 95 percent likely. And it isn't necessarily happening now, it could take several weeks before it actually happens.
So we begin the waiting game, the praying game. Most of me has given up hope, but there is this little bitty ray of light that says, hey, I still have a 5 to 10 percent chance of getting to hold this baby someday. To kiss its toes and squeeze it close to me. 5 to 10 percent. When the weather man says there's a 5 to 10 percent chance of rain, I leave my windows down. When a store sends me a 10% off coupon I throw it away because "That's nothing." But now, 10 percent is everything. It's my last hope.
There's a section in the Bible in Jesus is telling his followers (in the paraphrased Andrea International Version) "if you have the tiniest speck of faith, you can tell a giant mountain to move and it will! Because God CAN DO ANYTHING" I am tell this mountain to move, I am telling this baby to live and grow. I am telling God to give me a miracle. I have a tiny speck of faith. I just hope God holds out on His end of the bargain.
Please pray for us tonight, and tomorrow. If we get bad results, we will be making decisions in the following days about what route to take for the physical healing process to begin. If we get neutral results we will still be waiting over the holiday for any news. At this point, any good results will not come for weeks. But they still have a 5 to 10 percent chance of coming. God performed a miracle at Christmas over 2000 years ago, maybe he will perform another this year. My tiny speck of faith tells me He can. My tiny speck of faith tells me He will. It's the rest of my body, the skeptical, practical, logical portion which normally controls my thinking and actions that tells me to give up hope, to begin moving on now so that by Christmas I have some control of my emotions back. I guess we will see which one was right soon.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
If my blog was a Christmas card...
Benton helped get out our decorations this year! Such a good helper!
We finally got a new, much fuller tree
All decked out in red and gold!
Someday, I WILL have a fireplace to hang our stockings on
Not so sure about Santa this year...maybe next year we'll get a smile out of him :)
Hopefully you are full of joy and blessings this holiday season.
All our love,
All our love,
The Jeska family
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
101 Things...
I was cleaning out one of my bookshelves recently and found a book called "101 Things to Do Before You Die." I had bought it 5 or 6 years ago in Lawrence in one of those cute, trendy shops that sells useless things such as this and started checking the adventures off my list. Some of them I had already done (ie. get a tattoo, travel to another country) and some of them I don't plan on ever doing (ie. join the mile high club....have these people EVER seen an airplane bathroom? GROSS!) Anyway, as I flipped through this book, I realized that hardly any of the things in this book where in my top 101 things I still wanted to do with my life, so I tossed it right into the trash. Then I decided to rewrite the checklist and fill it with things that really matter to me. As I was writing my checklist, I realized 101 things was a lot, so I decided to cut it down to 51. So here it is, my list of "51 Things to Do Before I Die" (OR) "My Rather Long Bucket List"depending on which pop culture reference you prefer. (*Disclaimer: All items are listed in no particular order, and ranking on list is unrelated to priority)
1. Go back to Europe, at least one more time
2. Go get a pedi or mani once a month for an entire year, just to keep reminding myself that just becuase I change poopy diapers all day doesn't mean I shouldn't have reasons to feel glamorous about myself.
3. See Times Square and a real Broadway performance (in person)
4. Write a book. Probably just a short children's book, maybe for my future grandkids. But I'll need someone else to do the illustrations, I'm awful at art.
5. Laugh so hard I pee my pants a little (It does not coun't if I'm pregnant at the time). Record what was so funny so I can look back on it and laugh for years to come.
6. Spend a Christmas or Thanksgiving volunteering at a soup kitchen
7. Go to Disney World with my family
8. Grow my hair long enough to donate to "Locks of Love"
9. Pay off every single penny of my debt. From student loans to our mortgage, it would feel wonderful to not owe anyone any money.
10. Make a quilt.
11. (Continue to) remind Benton every single day for the rest of my life that I love him
12. (Continue to) remind Chris every single day for the rest of my life that I love him
13. And do that for any future children as well
14. Have future children (preferably 3 more, with at least one of them being a girl)
15. Have a bigger house for my future family of 6 (things may get a little cramped in this 3 bedroom townhome...but if we had to we could make it work!)
16. Be back to my wedding size of 130 lbs. I won't say how far I have to go to get there...
17. Go skiing (I know, most people say "Go skydiving, but I really don't like heights that much, and skiing seems risky enough to me)
18. Teach Benton (and any future children) to always put God first, family second, the world third, and themselves last
19. Read a piece of classic literature and actually enjoy it
20. Go back to the top of the Eiffel Tower, this time with my sweetheart <3
21. Make a scrapbook (Karalie??? If you read this, you might have to help me out here!)
22. Be a manager. In any profession really, it could be working at McDonalds for all I care. Just knowing that someone saw that I was a hard worker and care enough about my job to promote me would be the greatest compliment (from an employer) I could ever recieve
23. Take a spontaneous road trip. Don't pre-book the hotels or preplan when we will stop to eat, just GO!
24. Go RV-ing. This one could quite possibly be combined with number 23.
25. Go to a concert of someone BIG! (Not fat, just famous)
26. Make a perfect creme brulee (Anyone wanna lend me a blow torch?)
27. Make an impact, cause a positive change in this world that maybe I will never see, but it will be there nonetheless.
28. Try sushi (Yeah, I really never have before)
29. Take cake decorating classes (I have called Hobby Lobby about 5 months in row and they always have them on a night I can't go, no fair!)
30. Decorate a cake (REALLY well!)
31. Take another cruise. To anywhere. Actually I hope to do this several more times before I die, so I'm actually going to make it number 32-34 as well :)
35. See Benton graduate from high school.
36. See Benton graduate from college.
37. See Benton get married.
38. Hold my grandchildren. (Dear Benton, it would behoove you to complete the above 4 in the order listed)
39. Take ballroom dancing lessons (Chris and I signed up for these before our wedding and then only took about 3 becuase we were so busy, this time I want to follow through)
40. Learn something from each of my parents I never knew before
41. Have a perfect day. One where I wake up and the house is already clean, the weather is perfect, and I don't have to work. Everyone is in a good mood so we go to the park and have a picnic and fly kites, then maybe stop and have ice cream before we come home and have a family game night. One of those days that only exists in movies. I think they are possible and I want one.
42. Go to the dentist and have them say "Your teeth look great, I can tell you've been flossing. You don't even really need this cleaning today but we'll do it anyway. On the house since we can tell you work so hard on keeping your teeth nice." *FAT CHANCE, they get so much pleasure out of scraping your gums til you bleed and then charging your hundereds of dollars for it*
43. Learn to not hate the dentist
44. Get a boob job. (Reduction and lift if you really want the details)
45. Stay in a penthouse sweet somewhere (even just for one night)
46. Visit the west coast
47. Always have at least one nice thing to say about someone
48. Love with every ounce of my being
49. Go to a piano bar (I've heard they are really fun...girls night out, anyone?)
50. Get Benton potty trained (This feels like such a big task right now, that it actually did make the list, barely)
51. Cut my hours to part time at work, so I can homeschool Benton when he's older.
So there's my list. I'll probably think of more things when I'm laying in bed tonight, but that's my list for today. What's on your list??
1. Go back to Europe, at least one more time
2. Go get a pedi or mani once a month for an entire year, just to keep reminding myself that just becuase I change poopy diapers all day doesn't mean I shouldn't have reasons to feel glamorous about myself.
3. See Times Square and a real Broadway performance (in person)
4. Write a book. Probably just a short children's book, maybe for my future grandkids. But I'll need someone else to do the illustrations, I'm awful at art.
5. Laugh so hard I pee my pants a little (It does not coun't if I'm pregnant at the time). Record what was so funny so I can look back on it and laugh for years to come.
6. Spend a Christmas or Thanksgiving volunteering at a soup kitchen
7. Go to Disney World with my family
8. Grow my hair long enough to donate to "Locks of Love"
9. Pay off every single penny of my debt. From student loans to our mortgage, it would feel wonderful to not owe anyone any money.
10. Make a quilt.
11. (Continue to) remind Benton every single day for the rest of my life that I love him
12. (Continue to) remind Chris every single day for the rest of my life that I love him
13. And do that for any future children as well
14. Have future children (preferably 3 more, with at least one of them being a girl)
15. Have a bigger house for my future family of 6 (things may get a little cramped in this 3 bedroom townhome...but if we had to we could make it work!)
16. Be back to my wedding size of 130 lbs. I won't say how far I have to go to get there...
17. Go skiing (I know, most people say "Go skydiving, but I really don't like heights that much, and skiing seems risky enough to me)
18. Teach Benton (and any future children) to always put God first, family second, the world third, and themselves last
19. Read a piece of classic literature and actually enjoy it
20. Go back to the top of the Eiffel Tower, this time with my sweetheart <3
21. Make a scrapbook (Karalie??? If you read this, you might have to help me out here!)
22. Be a manager. In any profession really, it could be working at McDonalds for all I care. Just knowing that someone saw that I was a hard worker and care enough about my job to promote me would be the greatest compliment (from an employer) I could ever recieve
23. Take a spontaneous road trip. Don't pre-book the hotels or preplan when we will stop to eat, just GO!
24. Go RV-ing. This one could quite possibly be combined with number 23.
25. Go to a concert of someone BIG! (Not fat, just famous)
26. Make a perfect creme brulee (Anyone wanna lend me a blow torch?)
27. Make an impact, cause a positive change in this world that maybe I will never see, but it will be there nonetheless.
28. Try sushi (Yeah, I really never have before)
29. Take cake decorating classes (I have called Hobby Lobby about 5 months in row and they always have them on a night I can't go, no fair!)
30. Decorate a cake (REALLY well!)
31. Take another cruise. To anywhere. Actually I hope to do this several more times before I die, so I'm actually going to make it number 32-34 as well :)
35. See Benton graduate from high school.
36. See Benton graduate from college.
37. See Benton get married.
38. Hold my grandchildren. (Dear Benton, it would behoove you to complete the above 4 in the order listed)
39. Take ballroom dancing lessons (Chris and I signed up for these before our wedding and then only took about 3 becuase we were so busy, this time I want to follow through)
40. Learn something from each of my parents I never knew before
41. Have a perfect day. One where I wake up and the house is already clean, the weather is perfect, and I don't have to work. Everyone is in a good mood so we go to the park and have a picnic and fly kites, then maybe stop and have ice cream before we come home and have a family game night. One of those days that only exists in movies. I think they are possible and I want one.
42. Go to the dentist and have them say "Your teeth look great, I can tell you've been flossing. You don't even really need this cleaning today but we'll do it anyway. On the house since we can tell you work so hard on keeping your teeth nice." *FAT CHANCE, they get so much pleasure out of scraping your gums til you bleed and then charging your hundereds of dollars for it*
43. Learn to not hate the dentist
44. Get a boob job. (Reduction and lift if you really want the details)
45. Stay in a penthouse sweet somewhere (even just for one night)
46. Visit the west coast
47. Always have at least one nice thing to say about someone
48. Love with every ounce of my being
49. Go to a piano bar (I've heard they are really fun...girls night out, anyone?)
50. Get Benton potty trained (This feels like such a big task right now, that it actually did make the list, barely)
51. Cut my hours to part time at work, so I can homeschool Benton when he's older.
So there's my list. I'll probably think of more things when I'm laying in bed tonight, but that's my list for today. What's on your list??
Monday, December 13, 2010
Hello, Potty Chair
If you know much about anything that's been going on in my life lately, you know that Chris and I began potty traning Benton last week. Okay, so before you jump on my case about how crazy I am becuase he's only 20 months old, let me explain why we started so early.
1. An older, wiser friend of mine who has raised 2 girls and also used to run a daycare recently told me that she potty trained all of her daycare kids at 20 months, and all of them (except one, whose parents didn't help) were trained within a month.
2. I read a book called "Toilet Traning in Less Than a Day" which lead me to believe that my little guy could be totally trained to use his potty chair in under 4 hours (WRONG!)
3. I seem to have this irrational fear that if I don't start now, Benton will be wearning Depends through college.
Well, here's what I think of potty training so far:
IT SUCKS!
Okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system...
So here's our strategy:
Benton wakes up in the morning, we take off his diaper, and he sits on his potty chair first thing. This is usually a successful trip, which always makes the day feel like its starting off on the right foot. However, it's usually downhill from here. Once Benton goes potty, we set a timer for 30 minutes. Then we go about our normal routine. When the timer goes off, its time to sit on the potty again. He sits as long as he's willing (usually anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes) and if he goes (which he usually doesn't) we reset the timer for 30 minutes. If he doesn't go, we reset for 15 instead. This process continues until naptime (when he wears a diaper) and starts all over again after nap. So, as you can see, it pretty much consumes our entire morning, afternoon, and evening.
In ways, I feel like we are making progress. He has gone on the chair a couple times (although they have always been times we've put him there, he's never gone on his own) and he recognizes when he traning pants are wet right away and does NOT like it.
On the other hand, I feel like we're spinning in circles and getting nowhere. I can't tell you how many times we've sat in the bathroom with him for 15 minutes waiting for him to do something and five minutes after we get up he's wet. Or one minute before we are about to go again he comes to find me and tell me he's wet. It's exhausting.
I know tht raising a toddler is work, I know potty traning is work. But really? Even if we can do this within a month, can I dedicate THIS MUCH time for an entire month? I feel like it would be SO much easier to wait another 6 months or so to see if he's acting more interested and ready rather than spinning in circles and getting nowhere. But the stubborn part of me is not ready to give up. The stubborn part of me thinks we CAN do this and he's going to get it anytime now. I feel like giving up now is the LAZY thing to do, taking the easy way out. And everyone you talk to has something different to say. So now what? Where do I go from here. Someone give me the magic answer that will solve all my parenting woes, please!
Well, better go, timer is about to go off!
1. An older, wiser friend of mine who has raised 2 girls and also used to run a daycare recently told me that she potty trained all of her daycare kids at 20 months, and all of them (except one, whose parents didn't help) were trained within a month.
2. I read a book called "Toilet Traning in Less Than a Day" which lead me to believe that my little guy could be totally trained to use his potty chair in under 4 hours (WRONG!)
3. I seem to have this irrational fear that if I don't start now, Benton will be wearning Depends through college.
Well, here's what I think of potty training so far:
IT SUCKS!
Okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system...
So here's our strategy:
Benton wakes up in the morning, we take off his diaper, and he sits on his potty chair first thing. This is usually a successful trip, which always makes the day feel like its starting off on the right foot. However, it's usually downhill from here. Once Benton goes potty, we set a timer for 30 minutes. Then we go about our normal routine. When the timer goes off, its time to sit on the potty again. He sits as long as he's willing (usually anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes) and if he goes (which he usually doesn't) we reset the timer for 30 minutes. If he doesn't go, we reset for 15 instead. This process continues until naptime (when he wears a diaper) and starts all over again after nap. So, as you can see, it pretty much consumes our entire morning, afternoon, and evening.
In ways, I feel like we are making progress. He has gone on the chair a couple times (although they have always been times we've put him there, he's never gone on his own) and he recognizes when he traning pants are wet right away and does NOT like it.
On the other hand, I feel like we're spinning in circles and getting nowhere. I can't tell you how many times we've sat in the bathroom with him for 15 minutes waiting for him to do something and five minutes after we get up he's wet. Or one minute before we are about to go again he comes to find me and tell me he's wet. It's exhausting.
I know tht raising a toddler is work, I know potty traning is work. But really? Even if we can do this within a month, can I dedicate THIS MUCH time for an entire month? I feel like it would be SO much easier to wait another 6 months or so to see if he's acting more interested and ready rather than spinning in circles and getting nowhere. But the stubborn part of me is not ready to give up. The stubborn part of me thinks we CAN do this and he's going to get it anytime now. I feel like giving up now is the LAZY thing to do, taking the easy way out. And everyone you talk to has something different to say. So now what? Where do I go from here. Someone give me the magic answer that will solve all my parenting woes, please!
Well, better go, timer is about to go off!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Christmas Card Holder
So every year, I struggle with where to put my Christmas cards. I don't know why, but I have this weird thing about not liking clutter on the front of my fridge (or anywhere else for that matter), so as the cards start to flow in every year, I begrudingly break out the scotch tape and being to mount them onto my fridge in as organized a fashion a possible, until a day or two after Christmas when it's safe to start taking them down without hurting anyones feelings.
This year, however, is quite different. I found this adorable greeting card (or anything else you could think of) holder in the Pottery Bard catologue and fell in love. However, I was not about to spend the $199 they were asking (it has since gone on sale for $149) for something that I knew I could very easily make myself for SO much less! Plus, I love projects so I was looking forward to seeing how I could make this work!
I started out with some old frames I had lying around in the garge, left over from Amanda's old salon that shut down. (Hey, she left 'em there long enough, I decided I could take one as my storage fee). Besides, they have been just glaring at me over the last 3 months, begging me to do something with them.
I spray painted the frame with this gold spray paint I picked up at Wal-Mart. I picked one that said I didn't have to prime or sand, becuase I really didn't feel like messing with that. Plus, this one said it gave a "hammered" look, so I thought that might help it look a little more vintage.
I used a picture framing kit (also from WalMart) to screw 8 of these eye hooks onto the back of the frame, evenly spaced, 4 on each side. I then strung picture hanging wire (which was included in the kit) across the hooks and attached them like so.
Finally, I decided my frame needed a little something extra so I used to more eye hooks on the top of the frame to attach red ribbon, then tied the ribbon in a bow for hanging the frame. Here's the (almost) finished project complete with our first Christmas card of the year (I ran out of wire, so I still need to run to the store and pick some more of that up)
And now our dining room FINALLY has something on that huge empty wall! Don't ya love it?!? And my total cost was only: (paint) $6 + (pic. hanging kit) $2 + (red ribbon) $1 + (clips for cards) $6= $15. Thats a 90% savings of the SALE price of the Pottery Barn version...and i personally think mine with the ribbon is a litte cuter too!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Stay tuned...
I'm so excited to have a week off starting at 7:30 am tomorrow.
Not only and I excited to have a week off, I'm excited about all the (hopefully fun and successful) projects I'm going to get done, such as:
1. Potty traning Benton (YIKES, still not sure if it's possible but one of my girlfriends SWEARS 20 months is the best age)
2. Creating a Christmas card holder (Already in progress, it's going to be sooo cute)
3. Painting Benton's bathroom (Unfortnatly all the other redecorating will probably have to wait until after Christmas, boo for not having unlimited income)
4. Making poodle skirts for the Christmas musical at church. (And they have to be done by Sunday. And I haven't started yet. Or even bought the stuff I need yet...)
Stay tuned, and I'll post updates on all my projects as they come!
For now, a new pic to keep you from feeling like this post was a total waste of your time. My two favorite boys, just being boys:
Not only and I excited to have a week off, I'm excited about all the (hopefully fun and successful) projects I'm going to get done, such as:
1. Potty traning Benton (YIKES, still not sure if it's possible but one of my girlfriends SWEARS 20 months is the best age)
2. Creating a Christmas card holder (Already in progress, it's going to be sooo cute)
3. Painting Benton's bathroom (Unfortnatly all the other redecorating will probably have to wait until after Christmas, boo for not having unlimited income)
4. Making poodle skirts for the Christmas musical at church. (And they have to be done by Sunday. And I haven't started yet. Or even bought the stuff I need yet...)
Stay tuned, and I'll post updates on all my projects as they come!
For now, a new pic to keep you from feeling like this post was a total waste of your time. My two favorite boys, just being boys:
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
My little bratty poo
My kid is becoming THAT kid. You know what kid I mean. The one that all the parents dread being at story time at the library. The kid that you don't dare not put in the nursery during the church service. The kid that throws things at other kids. Yeah, THAT kid.
Chris and I promised each other from the get go that we would never let Benton be that kid. He would be raised to have good manners and show respect to others. So where did I go wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I love my little boy, and for the most part he really is a good kiddo. However, about a month ago he picked up a "funny" (to him) new habit of throwing toys (sometimes at people). We've been making efforts to correct this behavior with firm "No's" and time outs, and I do think we are winning the battle, but suddenly our efforts must be refocused on a new front in this "Toddler Discipline" war. When I asked Heather (Benton's daycare teacher) if he had been throwing toys, she said hes done it a few times, but more than that she's noticed him taking toys from other kids recently (GASP!) This is when it really hit me that we might have a problem. You see, he doesn't do this at home, there are no other kids for him to take toys from. As a result, I can't correct the action when I see it because I simply don't see it. (Yet another reason to have another kid, IMHO). So now what? If I discipline it hours later when I pick him up, he's not going to understand why. Heather said she does tell him "No" but I'm still concerned that I've got a big trouble maker on my hands!
So, now I begin the arduous journey to re-training my toddler the skills to being a fun playmate to his friends. This could be interesting. Feel free to leave me your tips!
Chris and I promised each other from the get go that we would never let Benton be that kid. He would be raised to have good manners and show respect to others. So where did I go wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I love my little boy, and for the most part he really is a good kiddo. However, about a month ago he picked up a "funny" (to him) new habit of throwing toys (sometimes at people). We've been making efforts to correct this behavior with firm "No's" and time outs, and I do think we are winning the battle, but suddenly our efforts must be refocused on a new front in this "Toddler Discipline" war. When I asked Heather (Benton's daycare teacher) if he had been throwing toys, she said hes done it a few times, but more than that she's noticed him taking toys from other kids recently (GASP!) This is when it really hit me that we might have a problem. You see, he doesn't do this at home, there are no other kids for him to take toys from. As a result, I can't correct the action when I see it because I simply don't see it. (Yet another reason to have another kid, IMHO). So now what? If I discipline it hours later when I pick him up, he's not going to understand why. Heather said she does tell him "No" but I'm still concerned that I've got a big trouble maker on my hands!
So, now I begin the arduous journey to re-training my toddler the skills to being a fun playmate to his friends. This could be interesting. Feel free to leave me your tips!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
My Christmas List
Here are a few things from my wishlist, in case you were wondering what to get me. I just made your Christmas shopping a whole lot easier :)
Artisan Series Stand Mixer by KitchenAid in black. I've only been dying for one of these since I got married 3 years ago ;)
Coach Black Signature diaper bag. Okay, so I know Benton is almost past the diaper bag stage, but I'm going to need a place to keep his juice and snacks (and a few little toys) for at least a few more years, and this should last at least that long...
A Tassimo Coffee machine, T65 Platinum Edition
A cruise, perferably at least 5 nights, to anywhere warm (I'm not picky). A few days to just relax and soak up the sun...ahhh, my stress melts just thinking about it.
Okay, so that's my list. Hopefully I get everything on it :)
PS. Just kidding. My real list consists of books, a couple CDs, some new clothes, and a pair of boots. But it's sure fun to daydream.
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